


Crushin' Lunch

by PaisleyWraith



Category: South Park
Genre: Genderfluid Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21602038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaisleyWraith/pseuds/PaisleyWraith
Summary: Two boys are watching their respective interests from across the room carefully, discussing deep thoughts and valued information at the lunch table. Is it any wonder no one else wanted to sit by them?
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 4
Kudos: 108





	Crushin' Lunch

“Okay, so like…I understand he’s cute, I just wouldn’t have guessed him,” Kenny was clearly trying to be encouraging, masking his quick look of surprise. “He’s actually pretty nice, too. You could do worse.” 

“Aw, I think he’s really cute,” Butters replied, propping up his chin in his hands as they stared across the cafeteria. “And I think he’s really nice.” 

“Look, you don’t have to convince me,” The blond assured him. “I don’t judge. You know me.” 

“Yeah…” Butters scratched his cheek, “I know. I just know it’s weird because we’ve grown up together. You’re not supposed to like people you’ve grown up with.” 

“Oh, dude, if we’re not supposed to catch feelings for childhood friends I should’ve been fired from dating ages ago,” Kenny sounded cheerful. “I’m bad about that.”

“Yeah.” He wasn’t going to bring it up, that hadn’t been his intention. 

He looked over to see Kenny, staring openly across the room, somehow taking up two different seats by twisting his body oddly and kicking his feet up. Kenny was shameless. He just didn’t care. Butters wished he couldn’t give a shit, it must be nice. 

“That’s why I’m not making any moves,” The taller blond pushed his empty plate further away so he could more easily rest his elbow against the table. “It’ll pass. But let’s talk about your boy! Tell me about him. What caught you?” 

“Oh, I dunno,” He went back to watching, sighing. Clyde Donovan was in the middle of a mutually heated discussion with Craig Tucker. “He’s kinda little.” 

“I mean, he’s like what, 5’6?” Kenny pointed out, “We’re just tall, man. He might not like your starters, here.” 

“I’m not tellin’ _him_ , Kenny,” He couldn’t help laughing. “Just you! He’s little and he’s soft and he’s so cute.”

“So, is this like…is he just cute, not hot?” The other student sounded interested. “Is he, like, attractive or is he just some eye candy?”

“No! No, he’s also really, really attractive.” He watched as the brunet stuck his elbow in his lunch tray. “He’s got a nice smile. And I like his hands.” 

“Mm, his hands, eh?” Kenny waggled his eyebrows. “What’ve you been thinking about those hands doing-”

“You know who I don’t think is hot?” Butters was too used to Kenny’s teasing to let him win, “Kyle.” 

“Be nice, the boy is sexy as fuck and could kill us all,” Kenny jabbed a finger in Kyle’s direction as if Butters couldn’t pick the redhead out of a crowd. Besides Dougie, Kyle Broflovski had the reddest hair in the school. “Which is why he’s sexy. I’d let him choke me.” 

He managed not to grimace. He said things like that so _easily._ “He’s got an awful attitude.” 

“Oh, he’s a bastard,” The other readily admitted. “But what can I say? I’m a sucker for boys who treat people they love differently than anyone else. Admit it, that’s pretty attractive.” 

“I know he cares about you,” Butters wasn’t going to argue that point, “But no. He’s really not. Now, Clyde-” 

“He’s a passionate bastard,” Blue eyes fixed on Butters with the will to win, “So focused all the time. Imagine tempting that boy out of his own head and having him throw you down on the bed and plow-”

“Oh, gosh!” He smacked Kenny’s shoulder. Forget that shit, he surrendered. “I think that’s enough. Sorry I said anything!”

“You wanted to talk about it,” Kenny laughed, “I’ll tell you anything, you know that!” 

“I know what you’re doin’,” The pale-eyed boy said wryly. “So you’re the opposite. You just think Kyle’s attractive.” That, he could more understand. He wasn’t really what Butters would call handsome, but he did have fire and Kenny was into that. 

“Well…no,” The other grew quiet for a moment, watching Kyle Broflovski sitting with a bunch of kids Butters didn’t know. 

He wasn’t talking to any of them, he wasn’t smiling, either. The two blonds watched the redhead unnoticed. Butters took another glance at Kenny. 

Thinking. Deeeep in thought, frowning and everything. He waited, like the good friend he was, eyes wandering to Clyde. Token was calmly agreeing with him and seemed to enjoy the clear frustration that was coming from Craig. 

Funny how they still remained friends, even though Token was super popular. Jimmy was popular, too, always really funny and nice to everyone. Craig and Tweek were kinda popular, they shoved everyone away except for the people they seemed to like but everyone still liked watching them interact. 

Butters would never be able to ignore people staring at him and a partner like that. But they acted like it was nothing…probably used to it, sure, but gosh. He envied anyone who didn’t worry so much. 

Clyde, now. He didn’t understand why more people didn’t like Clyde. Well, not exactly not like, if you asked anyone they’d probably be like ‘oh yeah, Donovan, he’s alright’ and leave it there. Didn’t understand. 

“Look,” Kenny’s voice made him jump, “I could go on and on. I like the way he works so hard for what he thinks he wants. I like that he gets pissed off and doesn’t let people step all over him. I’m amazed that he can juggle so much shit on his plate and still be top of the school. I like that once he commits to something, he’s 110% in no matter what. I think it’s sweet that he worries so much about making people proud of him. I like him. I like _so much_ about him. And I just like being around him, man, you know what I mean?” 

“Yeah,” Butters wished he’d felt this way at the age when he and Clyde revolved so often around each other. Took for granted his company, his comments, accidental touches far and few in between. He didn’t enjoy it properly back then. “Think I do.” 

“It’s just hard to step past being friends,” Kenny complained, draping an arm over the chair he was mostly in, “It’s not that I don’t like being friends. I do. I love being friends with the dude. But I just want an evolved relationship and it’s hard when…it’s hard to explain,” 

“It’s like when people in movies are just all like ‘I wanna be more than friends’, but it’s not like you wanna be _more_ than friends-”

Kenny pointed at him, impressed. “Yes! I hate that. Like love is more important than friendship, or something.” 

“Right!” Emboldened, Butters tumbled on, “I don’t want to stop being friends. I just wanna be his boyfriend, too.”

“Exactly,” Kenny looked wistful, “I don’t really want things to change a lot. I just want…I don’t know. A bigger piece of his life?” 

“I understand,” Butters watched as Kyle got up, dumping the contents of his tray and walking towards the exit. “Ooh, he’s coming over here.” 

Kenny tried to sit up straight and seemed to forget he was sprawled over two chairs. The lanky boy nearly fell out of both seats, sneakers squeaking against the ground as he sat deep in his main chair and kicked the other one away. Seemingly in annoyance. 

Passing them to get to the door, Kyle caught the movement and made eye contact with the boys. He raised his hand at Kenny in a slight wave, smiling when the other lazily waved back. 

Kenny pretended to be busy rearranging the napkin on his plate. Butters ‘discreetly’ peered over his shoulder. 

Yep, Kyle looked back, and it wasn’t at Butters. 

A wide, splitting grin nearly cut Butters’ face. 

“He looked back at you!” He crowed, watching Kenny slap the table and punch the air before going back to being casual. 

He sure didn’t act like someone who wanted to ‘not make any moves’ and just ‘let it pass’. 

But Butters wasn’t stupid, no matter who said so. Kenny wouldn’t wanna talk about that. 

“I just,” he started, realizing Kenny hadn’t been listening at first when the other whipped his gaze over. “Oh. Sorry.” 

“Nah, go on,” Kenny rested his chin on a hand. “I’m listening.” 

“Look,” Butters bit his lip, “You can’t tell anyone this…” 

“Like I do ever, you know me better,” Kenny almost look offended and Butters moved on quickly. 

“Sometimes I wonder if he’d be interested if I…y’know. Always dressed kinda feminine.” Butters winced. “Ah. Y’know. I don’t…much…I don’t know.” 

Kenny nodded, slowly, tapping the side of his cheek. “I mean, I fuck around with gender on the regular. Gotta be more specific.” 

“We-ell,” Butters sighed, “It’s…I’m not sayin’ it’s easier for you, it’s not, but you know who you are. That you like bein’ male but also female sometimes and you still act the same and like the same things. I dunno if I’m just not used to it, or if I’m one or the other, or if I don’t like it sometimes because I’m scared and sometimes I worry an awful lot that I’m doing it for wrong reasons.” 

“And I told you, gender is different for everyone,” Kenny spoke gently, and was kind enough not to bring up the day he had to coax the boy out of the bathroom because he had a panic attack over wearing a blouse to school. “It’s different for me and it’ll be different for you. Good news is it can always change. You don’t have to figure it out by some end date, or something.” 

“Yeah,” His chest still felt heavy, “I just…I’ve found myself pickin’ things out at stores I think he’d like, and that’s all sorts of bad reasons to want to dress pretty again.” 

“Ehh…” Kenny drew the word out. “Maybe. But everyone likes lookin’ cute for a crush, Leo.” He shrugged, looking over at Clyde’s table, “It depends on how you feel about it. If you don’t think you should, don’t do it. Nothing wrong with thinking about it, though. Totally normal.” 

“Ah.” Gosh, he was so grateful to have Kenny as a friend. He was just so reassuring and kind. Butters’ shoulders dropped in relief. “Thanks, Ken.”

“Always,” The other began tapping his chin. “Just don’t let anyone tell you to do one thing or another.” 

“My dad thinks you’re a bad influence on me,” The blond groaned, “He doesn’t know I started this whole thing.” 

“Hey, I already owned most of that stuff,” Kenny waved him off, “And I already had feminine days, they were just…more internal. So I started it, he’s right.”

“I still feel bad,” Butters apologized, “You’re not a bad influence.” 

“Hey, it’s my goal to make _everyone’s_ father in South Park regard me as a bad influence,” Kenny shot him a shit-eating grin. “Just one more down.” 

He snorted. “Even Kyle’s?” 

“Oooooh, Gerald Broflovski haaaates me,” Kenny’s grin damn near outshone Butters’. “You should see the looks he gives me if I hug Kyle or stand too close to him when we’re both at games.”

“ _Kenny_ ,” Butters was amused and dismayed, “That’s gotta be encouraging, right?” 

Kenny’s mouth twisted oddly, and his brows furrowed. “True, I guess. I didn’t think about that.” 

“He was givin’ you ‘I’mma-kill-you’ vibes from across the court whenever you touch his son and _you never thought about it_?!” He broke into peals of laughter. “Kenny! Do they make you leave the door open when you go over to his house?” 

“Yeah?” Kenny raised an eyebrow. “We have to when it’s a group of us over there, too. House rule.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Kenny,” He kept giggling through his words, “But when Kyle got paired up with Jimmy ‘n’ me for Biology last semester the door was closed.” 

Kenny looked like he needed a moment to process that. 

“What?” He asked, voice raising in pitch. 

“Unless Red could make it to meetings, then we had to keep the door open,” Butters continued. “But she’s a girl, and Kyle’s had girlfriends…” 

Kenny had his fingers laced under his chin and seemed to be contemplating the deep mysteries of life. 

Kenny put up such a good front. But Butters had been friends with him for years. Anyone should be able to see past his indifference. He hoped Kyle could. He’d better.

“I think you really should talk to him, Kenny,” Butters said seriously. “Everything you say makes me think he might like you.” 

“You should talk to Clyde,” Kenny retorted, startled out of his thoughts. “He’s single as hell right now, you know. He’d probably love to have someone to ask to prom.” 

“Oh! Gosh.” He could feel his face heating. Being arm in arm and dancing real close to Clyde. Going out with friends beforehand and sitting next to him at dinner. “I don’t know.” 

“Would you want to wear a dress or suit?” Kenny asked interestedly, “If he asked you.” 

“I don’t know!” He was not imagining wearing something sparkly and cute, actually being _pretty_ , and he was absolutely never ever going to let himself think about if Clyde might think he’s cute, too. “What would you wear? If Kyle asked you?”

“If Kyle Broflovski asked me to prom, I would let him choose what he’d like for me to wear,” Kenny said immediately. “I don’t know what his family would think. Mama Broflovski seems to like me but I don’t bank on that. I’d feel guilty as hell if I made his life worse for him, already bad that I’d be the first boy he dated. Yanno?” 

“Yeah,” Butters’ heart squeezed. Aw, Kenny. He wished the blond was a little more selfish. Maybe he’d have asked Kyle out by now. 

“Regardless, I’d let him choose what I was wearing _underneath_ also.”

Butters choked, tearing up from the effort of not laughing his ass off. “Ooh, I don’t feel sorry for you anymore.” 

“Shouldn’t feel sorry for me anyway,” Kenny said staunchly. “Feel sorry for yourself if you’re going to waste it! Clyde’s available and you two would be adorable together. Take a chance!” 

“I just don’t know!” He fretted, chewing on his thumbnail, “I wouldn’t know how to start.” 

“You gotta just talk to him,” Kenny pressed, “Ask him to hang out sometime. I think he’d enjoy that.”

“Aw, Ken,” Butters wrung his fingers, looking over at Clyde’s table. They were packing up, Clyde was standing on his chair and swinging his enormous backpack over his shoulder. He adjusted to the weight and remained standing, looking smug at whatever he was saying. Craig was glaring. 

He was so cute. 

“Uhh…what time is it?” Kenny didn’t have a watch today, so Butters’ checked his phone. 

One minute left. 

“We gotta go,” He blurted, bolting up and grabbing his tray. “I was gonna go to my class early and ask my teacher a question! Rats!” 

“It’s all good, bro, relax,” Kenny leapt up also, scooting his chair in. “We’ll talk later, okay? I have class on the third floor, I’m out, don’t worry about anything, see you later!” 

“Ahh fine,” Butters groaned as he picked up his backpack, jogging for the exit. Too late, he was getting caught up in slow-moving kids. 

He didn’t have time for this. His grade in English was dipping and he couldn’t come home with another bad report card. He shoved through the crowd of kids talking loudly and nearly ran straight into Craig. 

Screeching to a halt to avoid a collision, someone slammed right into the back of him. 

“Oh god! Sorry, Butters!” Clyde had a handful of his sweater, as if to keep him from falling over. “Sorry!”

“It’s alright!” He squeaked, watching the shorter boy race by. “Good to see you!” 

Good to see you. Why was he like that. 

Someone patted his shoulder, and Token caught his eye with a smile as he also passed the blond by. 

Ugh. Shoulders slumping, Butters dragged his sorry ass to class to wish he was just a little less stupid.


End file.
